J Dog Blog

One last thought before bed

2006-10-22T02:55:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I wish I could live underwater so I could block out all the unwanted noise.

Btw

2006-10-22T02:52:00.000-04:00

Aforementioned guy and I are officially over. I think I need a break for a while. Time to uncomplicate my life.

Someone

2006-10-22T02:48:00.000-04:00

I just want someone to love.

The Curb

2006-10-20T14:15:00.000-04:00

Sometimes you need to kick people to the curb no matter how much you think you like them. It may be hard especially if you think you've built what seems like a strong friendship with them. Or they stuck by you during a difficult time. But these people often suck away your mental energy and just bring you down in the end. Some people just have to go.

I think today, I will take my own advice.

News

2006-10-13T11:22:00.000-04:00

I found some interesting news items that I thought I would post:

First from 365gay.com, take a look at this article about a gay animal exhibit in Oslo.

http://www.365gay.com/Newscon06/10/101206animals.htm

Damn those crazy fundamentalist christians! Always trying to bring us down!

Secondly, I just read in the Advocate that Thomas Roberts from CNN came out as gay!

http://www.advocate.com/news_detail_ektid36415.asp

Take a look at his wikipedia page too:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Roberts_%28news_anchor%29

I always thought he was hottie so I am glad to hear he's a 'mo.

The article refers to a blog written by gay journalist named Johnny Diaz. I included a link to his blog, which I found interesting. Check it out:

http://beantowncuban.blogs.friendster.com/whosjohnny/2006/09/out_in_the_suns_1.html

Another Quote

2006-10-06T16:03:00.000-04:00

"The possibility that empathy resides in parts of the brain so ancient that we share them with rats should give pause to anyone comparing politicians with those poor, underestimated creatures."

-Frans de Waal

Quote of the Day

2006-10-06T15:55:00.000-04:00

I could use a drink to numb the pain.

-Daily mantra of someone special

Dating in 2006

2006-10-06T13:20:00.000-04:00

When does "dating" turn into boyfriends? Are we conscious of this change in the relationship? Are there any signs of this transition? What happens when one person wants more and the other doesn't or isn't ready? Do you keep dating? Do you move on? Is it possible to casually or even seriously date multiple people? How do you know when its over? And how do you let go of the past anxieties that keep you from taking a risk on someone? What are your thoughts on this?

New Word

2006-10-05T16:38:00.000-04:00

As many of you know this is my favorite new word. The blog is not allowing me to add a link today so copy and paste it into your browser. Be especially mindful of the descriptive uses.

www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=tradgy

Various Random Thoughts

2006-10-05T14:52:00.000-04:00

So I am now dating the aforementioned guy. Insert sly comments here_________________.
But seriously we are having fun so I say why not.

I went out to a nice but expensive Mexican restaurant with a friend last night. I can't remember the name but the margaritas were to die for. They have a nice brunch that I want to check out this weekend. Maybe I will make aforementioned guy (aka ag) take me there this weekend unless he cancels on me again. Of course, this will result in another dire blog entry so let's hope he keeps his promise.

As I was sipping my blood orange cocktail, I couldn't help but notice how many beautiful gay men live in NYC. Seems to me that my short attention span is fueled by this incredible availability. I guess that's why everyone is dating and nobody seems to have a boyfriend. Hmmmm, more on this later.........

I realized this weekend as I was lying in bed with the flu that I need to streamline my life. I want to pair down and get rid of those complicated pieces that seem to drive me to insanity while detracting from my goals. I guess this doesn't happen overnight. I just feel like I have a lot of potential backed by some great experience but I spend a lot of time fucking around. To rip off a famous soap opera, "these are the days of our lives," and I am done wasting them. Of course this is a work in progress, so more on this later too..........

Credit card companies are evil. I just got an unjustified late fee for $39! I called the company and they reversed the charges but what a waste of my fucking time. Argh!

Quote of the Day

2006-10-03T14:47:00.000-04:00

"Are those real?"

-gay man at Hooters

More food for thought

2006-10-02T11:50:00.000-04:00

On Friday my computer suddenly stopped working and my life came to a grinding halt. Since I was sick all last week, it was my only link to the outside world. Its amazing how dependent I am on my laptop to keep in touch with the people in my life. I actually had to rally and head into school just so I could use the internet. However the extra "free" time did allow me to catch up on season 2 of Lost.

I wonder what our world would be like if computers, cell phones, tv, and the internet suddenly ceased to exist.

Ok I am still delirious from my cold so I am gonna stop typing now.....

Food for Thought

2006-10-02T11:40:00.000-04:00

What does it all mean?

Hilarious

2006-09-28T21:35:00.000-04:00

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/

Saw this website on a friend's blog. Its hilarious.

Quote of the Day

2006-09-27T20:27:00.000-04:00

"Never trust a big butt and a smile"

curtsey of DA

Lunch

2006-09-27T19:23:00.000-04:00

I had lunch with the guy I mentioned from my first post. Not sure why I did it at first. Thought I might have been following my primal urges rather than my brain.

Some will think I am crazy but we did not meet to get back together or date or anything. Instead, it was just a nice time without drama. I tried not to analyze as I tend to do. Besides I hate being mad at people. I'm glad we cleared the air.

Quote of the Day

2006-09-26T23:10:00.001-04:00

"I'm a slut. I'm a rotten bitch!"

Intervention

2006-09-26T17:37:00.000-04:00

Remember my first post? About the guy who was jerking me around? Why do I feel the need to contact him even tho I told him never to contact me again? Pretty lame huh? I haven't done it but I want to. Glad I deleted his number so I won't be reduced to drunk texting. Tragic....

On a darker note: I found out that a good friend of mine from long ago has been in and out of rehab for drugs over the years. This makes me sad especially when I think back to all the fun times we had together. I hope she gets better soon.

2006-09-25T18:31:00.000-04:00

Ok my friend just sent me a text that said:

"I'm somewhat attracted 2 this ugly midget from my class, what's wrong with me?!"

I thought this was funny so had to share with you. And just FYI, I am not a midget hater. These are his words, not mine. :)

2006-09-25T16:28:00.000-04:00

I have to put in a plug for this movie. I saw it this weekend and could not stop laughing. Great writing and acting! Go see it and bring a friend!

2006-09-25T15:32:00.000-04:00

I figured I would write a lighter post after all my bitching.

I went to this club last night called Hiro at the Maritime Hotel. I have to say that I really liked this place. The asian decor along with the mood lighting were a perfect compliment to the cute boys. Maybe all my ranting about bars and clubs was for not.

I met this really cute French guy. We had a nice chat. Damn I should've gotten his number. Maybe he will read this and send me an email? :)

2006-09-25T12:50:00.000-04:00

So I started this blog after reading the somewhat funny postings of an acquaintance about crazy life stuff. I guess I felt like this past week was somewhat crazy for me so I figured why not give it a shot.

I was kind of dating this boy over the summer. I say kind of because we spent much more time talking online than actually seeing each other in the flesh. Neither of us really wanted a boyfriend but we were attracted to each other and got along well so we kept talking. Unfortunately we spent more time talking about where we were headed instead of actually getting anywhere. Maybe it was just easier to talk online than any sort of face to face contact. But the inertia of the situation started to really bug me and finally I told him that we should just date and see where it goes. Well long story short, he got a job in Boston so that ended that or so I thought.....

About two weeks ago he contacted me again thru online messenger. Even tho he jerked me around during the summer, I figured we could stay friendly. We talked on and off again for the next week and soon it was revealed that he was not moving to Boston. And we talked some more; soon the conversation turned back to whether we should date or not. After he told me he was leaving, I had not thought of him for before he contacted me again. But honestly we had great sex and I liked talking to him so, against my better judgment, we made plans to hang out on Thursday. This was not a date per se, just some undefined evening. And he was gonna take me out to make up for all his previous "flip-flopping" (no not that sort, take your mind out of gutter). I guess that damn horniness can blind you sometimes...

I got an email from him asking if he could switch our dinner plans from Friday to Thursday because he had a work thing he had to go to. I was a little perturbed that he didn't remember that we already made plans to go out on Thursday and told him as much using my usual sarcastic charm not to unhinge the situation. Well Thursday morning rolls around and I get an email that he had to cancel Thursday night too because of "work commitments." You have to understand this is the 4th or 5th time he had canceled on me because of these so called work commitments. We were falling back into the same pattern as this summer. I was pretty pissed and told him not to contact me again.

Moral of the story:

Most of you will be thinking that I was a dumb ass for falling for this guy's bullshit again and of course you're right. I don't know why I bothered with him. If a friend came to me with the same situation I wouldn't think twice about telling my buddy to kick this guy to the curb. So why did I come back for seconds (and thirds and fourths)? I can't really say for sure but I think it has something to do with comfort. See I was comfortable with this guy. The dating scene is rough. It fucks with your emotions and your self-esteem. When you find someone you like and with whom you feel connected, you want to hold on to that person even if you are not totally or, even remotely, compatible. I felt like I could be me with this guy and there was no posturing with him. But frankly I'm exhausted. I'm exhausted of dealing with guys that are full of shit. I'm exhausted of going out to bars and clubs that I don't really like. I'm exhausted of drinking and spending too much money. Wow I sound like such a whiner. I do realize that I am probably looking in the wrong places. And what I do know for sure is that I'm tired of the hunt. I need a break from the bullshit and the games are over now (at least with this guy).